I’m quite well known as a feminist in my office. Mostly as a bit funny – I’m not dreaming of a white wedding or going gooey over every baby, and don’t like being called a “girl”.
But recently, a couple of comments firstly made me question myself, and then realise that no, this is what a feminist looks like.
The night before our work Christmas party, I was madly rushing to leave the office at 5pm, and said “I have to leave on time tonight, I’ve promised to get home to finish the decorating so that I can party tomorrow”. And someone said this was really funny – I say I’m a feminist, but then have to get home or get in trouble.
And then other anecdotes started being brought up – that I was wistuflly admiring a colleagues new short hair cut but wouldn’t do it myself as OH really loves my long hair.
That I love ironing (I know, this is weird, but I find it very zen) and so my OH hasn’t used the iron since we moved in together.
That I often take my OH’s breakfast cereal up to him in bed.
That I do the Christmas cards for his family as well as mine.
So am I a bad feminist – talking the talk but not walking the walk?
I really don’t think so – I think this is what a feminist looks like.
A feminist doesn’t need to be single. The fact that I’m in a heterosexual relationship, based on give and take really shouldn’t stop be being a feminist.
Making our own deals over how we split the housework doesn’t make me less feminist.
I like that he likes my hair. So what?
I like sending Christmas cards, and I know they’re appreciated by his great aunts and grandma. So why wouldn’t I send them?
I’m up early, and know he finds it tough to get going in the morning. Does this make me not feminist?
A feminist doesn’t need to be dungaree-wearing, shaven-headed and living in a woman-only commune.
I was reminded of the This is What a Feminist Looks Like campaign from the Fawcett Society. Feminism isn’t some wacky idea that makes me a little odd. Feminism is about equality – something that we all should be fighting for.
I am living my life in a feminist way – this is what a feminist looks like.