Red or black and blue?

This post is more of a ponder than a rant, as I’m feeling uncomfortable rather than angry.

Violence against women has garnered more than a couple of headlines this week thanks to Simon Cowell’s new game show Red or Black.  It turns out that the very first winner has spent time in prison after being convicted of violent offences.  The producers of the show knew this, but thought the attack was on a man.   When it turned out the attack was on a woman, the producers announced they needed to ‘review their screening procedures’.  So why is beating a woman so much worse than beating a man?

I am in absolutely not trying to belittle the particular awfulness of domestic violence.  Sustained violence over many years, accompanied by emotional and often sexual abuse is appalling.  But the media coverage hasn’t focused on this, but simply on the fact he hit a woman rather than a man.  And I really don’t think that this type of coverage is doing any favours for equality.  Surely the idea that hitting a woman is somehow worse than hitting a man is completely tied up with the idea that women are weaker than men, that women need a man to protect them in this world?

The coverage has left me feeling rather patronised, rather than pleased that domestic violence is being discussed in the media.  Simon Cowell’s macho-posturing that “if I was him, I know what I would do, I would give away part of the money to the person he had the altercation with and a charity. ” has just gone on to leave me feeling more patronised than ever.  Like somehow for a woman, a big pay-off makes violence better.

I am not sure whether I’m angry at the producers for making these statements, or at the way the media has covered it.  But something about the whole incident has left a very sour taste in my mouth.

I’d really welcome your comments on this post – am I missing something?  Am I right that the idea of hitting a woman as a particular taboo is particularly patronising?  Or should I be celebrating that domestic violence is in the headlines rather than hidden away?

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One Comment on “Red or black and blue?”

  1. Allow me to put on a silly voice and say the following:

    “But women are weaker than men! Hitting a woman is like hitting a tiny child or a baby deer or a beautiful and frail flower! It’s much worse than hitting a man because men are tough and can take it!”

    If the above is the subtext behind the idea you take issue with, I don’t see how that could fail to make you feel patronised. It doesn’t make me feel very good about, for example, losing a physical confrontation as a man, either.

    I’d love to do some more research on this and explore it a little more.


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